Sample Conference Handout

No Rest No Zest Test (with thanks to Enda Judkins for the inspiration)

Instructions: Breathe... then check all "symptoms" which apply

[ ] The bags under your eyes are big enough to carry mail
[ ] You can't find your glasses cause they're on the top of your head
[ ] You think the glass is half-empty... and fear the other half spilled all over the back of your PC
[ ] You try to make a three minute egg in a microwave
[ ] You feel compelled to take up juggling so you can keep yet more balls in the air
[ ] You open the refrigerator, stare in blankly.. and can't for the life of you recall whether you were going to put something in or take something out
[ ] Your bottom dollar is on top
[ ] A little voice in the back of your brain keeps chanting "coffee.. coffee.. coffee...."
[ ] You dial a friends phone number and when they answer forget who it was that you were calling
[ ] Your favorite bumper sticker is "STOP GLOBAL WHINING"*
[ ] You see your life as one long stress rehearsal*
[ ] You don't think twice about telling people- " I haven't even had time to go to the bathroom"
[ ] You compulsively wear a swimsuit instead of underwear because you can't get rid of the sensation that you're treading water
Scoring:
0-3 checks... Liar liar pants on fire!
4-7 checks.. Mr. Rogers would be proud of you.
8-11 checks.. Minor adjustments may be in order.
12-14 checks.. Full scale humor transplant urgently required
14-16 checks... You clearly are either very gullible or berry berry bad in math (possibly both!)

* grateful acknowledgement(s) to Loretta Laroche- arch nemesis of "the low-fat police"

copywrite 4/17/2000 ZESTWORKS Rob Peck 800 597-5032 robpeck@zestworks.com

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